Chapter 3: Flaws and All

My face looks like a pepperoni pizza. But not a good one. I've had about 7 chocolate bars in the last fifteen days. On my thirteen day "vacation", I ate a cupcake every s i n g l e day. I have no regrets. But this is why my face looks like a pepperoni pizza.I only have myself to blame. I'm also a little bit stressed. School has not been the greatest ride lately. And so I've been eating a lot. Because food makes me happy, ask anyone. Well, what can I do about it?

I am a flawed human being. So many flaws. If I could talk about twenty seventeen, it'd be about how flawed it was. Lots of things didn't work out great, a lot of the time I felt confused, lost and lonely. The year had many times where I thought, "this year sucks." And yet, I ended this year on a high note. W H A A A A T!

Listen, if you look at me, you can see seventy-five millions things that are wrong with me. I'm too short, I'm too fat, I have pepperoni face, I'm pale white, my teeth aren't straight, I have bad skin, my shoulders are too wide and ....  so many other things. And yet, there are many days where I feel like I am a solid eight out of ten.

Just look at my life, you can see another thirty million things that are wrong. I still live at home with my parents, my bank account is always sad, student debt, I still have not graduated, I don't have a co-op yet, I'm still a single pringle and it's probably because of my pepperoni face (joke). Yet, I'd give my life a five-star rating. God has been good to me.

Now, lets analyze my personality. It also has like four million things wrong with it. I'm too loud, I'm too honest, I'm a back-talker, I can be a negative nancy, sassy sally, prude patty, rude ruthie (haha). When I get mad, I get mean. I often hold grudges and anger is my comfort zone. But, it' still my very best asset and I'd give it an A plus-plus.

Do you think I'm being a little too hard on myself? Did you think all the aforementioned were flaws? Did I bring attention to things that you didn't even know about me? (if that didn't happen, please exit the premises

For whatever reason, I’ve been extremely hard on myself. Due to that, I’ve accomplished a few things. Because when you keep insisting on something, you tend to get it. But it sort of takes the joy out of everything. Flaws will always exist. We are flawed people, but we can’t have tunnel vision when it comes to our flaws. They are not all that we are. I've been so hard on myself this last year, getting really frustrated over letting everyone down, myself included. And it's made it really hard to enjoy the year. So this year, I want to change that. I promise to work hard on everything I do, including this blog, but to also to r e l a x and cut myself some slack. I have a good feeling about twenty eighteen y'all. Be kind to yourself and one another. 
Happy New Year. May It Be Blessed & Happy.


Chapter 2: Route Unknown

I hate driving in the rain. Once, I offered a friend of mine a ride home. She directed me the whole way there and on the way back I was planning on inserting my home address and letting maps guide me. However, every time I entered my home address, the app would tell me there was no route for that address. I was extremely confused, how was that even possible?

I started to drive thinking I could navigate my way out of from memory. If you know me at all, you will know that I have no sense of direction. I am constantly getting lost. As I drove, I realized that I was heading farther and farther away from the main roads. I pulled over and tried inserting my address again. Finally, after panicking, I realized that I had the app set on walking and not driving (didn't even know this was a thing until then). Once I switched it over, it gave me the route that led me to the highway. 

Honestly, this was the worst drive home EVER. It took me through all these small roads, through a town I didn't know where the streets had no lights plus it was pouring out. Like, can't-see-anything-oh-my-God, thunderstorm rain. Coincidentally, I had a song playing that was talking about letting God guide us. I started talking to the radio: 

"yes, Lord! Guide me Lord! I don't want to die in the wilderness Lord! Make it stop raining Lord! Please?"
 "I don't want to cry! You will not cry! Oh my gosh, I am going to die in the middle of nowhere!" "Girl, you have Jesus! You'll be fine! Yeah! I have Jesus!" "Jesus, are you there?"  
 .... true story. 

Worst drive ever. I almost started crying. Rain makes me panic when I'm driving. Maybe because on a rainy night, my brother and I got into a terrible car accident -- like spin, flip your car, land in ditch car accident. Finally, after a very stressful 20 minutes,  I was on Highway 401 and on my way home.

Periodically, over the last couple months, I have felt like my life is that drive home. I've been desperately trying to plan my route to the finish line, but the route is temporarily unavailable. I suppose this is life. None of us really know what is in store. Maybe I have my app on the wrong settings. Maybe I've input the wrong address or maybe I’m trying to head in the wrong direction. We make plans, but sometimes those plans are meant for us. But God is constantly that song, on the radio of life, reminding me (and you) that he wants to guide us. To trust that he knows and that all will be revealed and fall perfectly into place; we simply need to continually move forward, even in the storm. 


Chapter 1: Please like me best!

I went on an interview today. I barely slept all night because I was trying to come up with good answers for certain questions. I don't even know why I even bothered trying to prepare, honestly. I didn't even use anything I had planned, it was all forgotten the minute I got there. 

Interviews are weird. You are genuinely trying to convince someone to like you better than someone else. I am slightly okay with this, as I generally think people like me immediately. I have them at hello. I am a people person. At least, I think so. There might be a slight chance that it's actually that people can't escape me once I've engaged them in conversation. Listen, you better just feel privileged that I'm trying to converse with you. It's not everyday that I'm in a talkative mood. Lies. I'm 95% always willing to have a conversation. 

Anyways, I sat in the interview room with two lovely ladies. My brother gave me a pep talk before I went in. (Awwww, He's so nice.) 

"Walk in there like the job is already yours. Engage them. Make the conversation mean something." 

So, naturally, I cracked a joke. Only one of the ladies laughed. The other was not about that life. How dare I crack a joke in the middle of a professional interview. I proceeded to give thoughtful answers. And they continued to ask probing questions. It was serious. I was serious. For one whole hour. It was exhausting!  

The entire time, I'm just sitting there, hoping that the person before me wasn't a better conversationalist than me. I don't have human resource experience. I snoop around peoples homes for a living ... I mean clean, I clean peoples homes for a living. I'm going to assume that I nailed the interview. If I don't get it, well it wasn't meant for me and obviously they don't like dynamic, effervescent, sassy personalities. And whose loss is it really? Mine. it's totally mine. I need the experience. Please just like me best! 

Oh, I even straightened my hair for this. So like, I deserve this job even more right? 


Where have I been? Glad you asked.

I've just been here, withering away in my cocoon of solitude. 
Just kidding (am I tho?). 

The truth is that life got a little bit busy there and I essentially have no time management skills. So since the last time we talked, the following occurred: 

1. I graduated from my Advanced Human Resource Diploma program. 
2. I successfully bridged over and I'm currently enrolled in Honours Bachelor of Commerce Degree program (that's incredibly long and obnoxious). 
3. My car almost exploded last year (or at least was predicted to by the car doctors) and I had to purchase my FIRST brand new vehicle. His name is Blue and he's a 2016 Kia Rio. 
4. I lived alone. For the first time in my life. There is nothing like it. It's sadly coming to an end this weekend. 
5. I spent 60 dollars on one small vile of oils for my face. Who have I become? 
6. To go along with that, I also bought some anti-aging night cream. Oh my gosh. Seriously. Who am I? 
7. Of course, there have been many small victories in my own personal life but we'll save those for another time. 

I just wanted to say thank you to all those who love me enough to read this. Even though most of you probably already know everything I posted. Because only my best friends read this blog. But if you're new, thank you for coming and stick around!  

      Ps. I am clearly still not a model. Even when I try my absolute best. It’s not a talent I possess. 
K, bye. 


25 things I've learned in 25 years.

1. Broken bones heal faster than broken hearts(but they heal)

2. Laughter is the best medicine. Learn to laugh at yourself.

3. Schedule your time. Time is precious.

4. Allow yourself to live in the moment.

5. You’re parents are you’re allies.Trust them.

6. Friends come and go.

7. Shut out the world, put in your headphones.

8. Find something you love, and be your best at it.

9. School is important, don’t drop out.

10. Being an adult and broke is the worst thing that can happen to you. Save, save, save!

11. You’ll get rejected. & you’ll survive.

12. Honesty is the best policy.

13. A boy will break your heart & the next girl he dates will be prettier than you... It will suck but you'll be OK. 

14. Strive to be healthy, not skinny.

15. Don’t be afraid to meet new people.

16. Go on vacation.

17. Take a day to sit and read a book.

18. Guard your heart.

19. ↑Stand↑ up for what is right, not popular.

20. People are going through more than you realize, so be kind.

21.Learn to pray. Prayer will get you through everything.

22. Don’t burn those bridges. You might need them to cross one day.

23. Love God. Love People. Love yourself.

24. You won’t have it figured out yet.

25. Don't stress about it, it will happen when it happens.


O Romeo..

 "O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?"
- Shakespeare  

Blouse: Winners
Skirt: Old Navy
Shoes: Present
Baby: Ruben & Cindy Alvarez 

I wonder where you are, 
and who you’re with. 
I wonder what you do, 
and what your hobbies are.
I wonder what makes you laugh, 
and what makes you mad. 
I wonder what makes you happy, 
and what makes you sad. 
I wonder if you like to read, 
and if so, what your favourite book is. 
I wonder if you’ve had a good day, 
and whether you have plans for tonight. 
I wonder if you’re happy right now, 
or if there is something missing. 

I wonder about your heart, 
and what it would take to make it skip a beat. 
I wonder about your eyes, 
and their colour. 
I wonder about your smile, 
and what it will take to put one on your face. 
I wonder about your laugh, 
is it normal or wildly weird.
I wonder about your mind, 
and whether it will challenge me. 
I wonder about your interests, 
and whether they will line up with mine. 
I wonder about your fears, 
and how they will compare to mine. 

I wonder about your dreams, 
and if they will line up with mine.
I wonder about your secret quirks, 
and if you’ll like mine.
I wonder about your job, 
and whether you’re doing what you love.
I wonder if you’re waiting for me, 
and if you’re wondering about where I am.
I wonder where you are, 
and where you’ve been.
I wonder where we’ll go,
and where we’ll settle down. 
I wonder how long it will take to find you …
and I wonder who you are.



What's the deal? (ootd)

“No matter how plain a woman may be, if

 truth and honesty are written across her 

face, she will be beautiful.” 

Crop top: Winners
Skirt: Reitmans
Shoes: The Shoe Company 

Tell me world, what's the deal? 

I dropped my phone in my bowl of cereal today. I managed to scoop it out in time but it appears like I won't be able to make phone calls without headphones. 

I guess it's time for a new phone. I've had my iPhone 4s for about 3 years. I have loved it. But now, (even before the milk damage) it dies super fast and I am constantly deleting things off it cause my memory is almost all used. 

I am not entirely sure I want to upgrade to a new iPhone but than again.. It would be so much easier to switch over to a phone I already know how to use. I am not.. And I mean NOT very tech savvy. 

What do you suggest? Should I venture out and try something new or is upgrading the best thing for me. Keep in mind, I have an iPad and I love the fact that I can just sync both of them up. But I hate the battery life on my phone and the fact that it heats up pretty bad. 

All in all.. I probably should have purchased a new phone months ago.. But .. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. 

Maybe the world is telling me, "it is time!" 


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